I like complain, and frankly, I’m pretty good at it. So, it only makes sense that I should have a blog dedicated to my ranting and complaining. Hopefully, you’ll find it mildly amusing.

For my first rant, I thought I’d write about Dakota Fanning, age 17, who appeared on the latest cover of Cosmopolitan (feel free to look it up; the captions on the cover aren’t very classy). There are so many things wrong with that statement, I’m not sure where to begin…

Let’s start with the obvious. SHE’S SEVENTEEN!! She is a minor, and is on the cover of a magazine known for its skankiness. There have been more sex symbols on the cover of Cosmo than stars in the sky! Why would she want to portray herself like that? I’ll tell you why. Because she’s a slut and wants to rebel against her perfect life of fame and fortune. Such hardships!

Another problem with this story is that her parents let her do this! I think they win the award for worst parents of the year. But of course, it’s only January, and there’s still time for Justin Bieber’s parents to let him do something stupid.

In conclusion, the moral of the story is this: do not let your daughter be on the cover of Cosmo; people will think she’s a slut.